You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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