She said her name was "party"
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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