these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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