hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Randomize
