im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
