from now on my penis is your penis
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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