yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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