idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
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