she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
