No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
