if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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