We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
