Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I am available for nakedness
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
