walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize