I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
