i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think people are normalizing furries
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
