I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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