I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
