Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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