how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
