I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
