Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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