It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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