you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
