How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
