Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
