What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
