Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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