lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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