i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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