Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
