There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
