There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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