I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
