the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
