I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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