operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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