I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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