Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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