Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
