I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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