I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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