I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
