We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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