yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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