He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
