im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
