That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize