forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
