carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
