I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize