you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
