Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
