just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
