we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
