I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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