You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
