I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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