It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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