I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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